Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Future.

Noun: the time or a period of time following the moment of speaking or writing; time regarded as still to come.

In the past years, I have stopped envisioning myself having a traditional wedding. Probably because I've attended too many weddings to appreciate the customs any longer. Although, to a certain extent it's because I believe that the meaning gets lost in the wedding. A marriage is between two individuals and shouldn't require any fancy adornments. Which brings me to my new found dream of eloping; I've always been smitten with the idea of getting hitched in Vegas. I imagine it is the most fun a wedding can get with minimal (if any) planning needed; completed with a bottle of champagne to toast with afterwards; glasses not necessary. Don't be insulted if you are family or friend, but I wouldn't even send out initiations. In less than forty-eight hours I will be in Vegas for the first time in my life. I will be accompanied by three of my best friends (seventeen years and counting) and we will be celebrating our turning thirty this year. What I had hoped for was to possibly be married (or engaged...ok at least in a long-term relationship) by the time I turned thirty. Fortunately, I am still three months away from that date.

Therefore, I have already forewarned my mother that I may come back married. I realized that I have (unintentionally) packed two white dresses. If I happen to meet a dashing man who (drunkenly) proposes to me, I may end up saying yes. Coincidently I will be surrounded by three of my longest friendships to give me their approval. I just hope we are all sober enough to make the right choice or else I may get married and divorced before I turn thirty.

Merde.

 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Tease.

Verb: To arouse hope, desire, or curiosity in without affording satisfaction

As I complained about a guy on Tinder who had been rampantly messaging me in regards to meeting I couldn't help but cringe at my listener's reply: But Tinder issss about meeting!

Touché.

At this moment I was forced to face the fact that I am probably my own worst enemy when it comes to meeting men. For instance, it is time to admit that merely having the Tinder app is NOT effort enough. Considering that when I am not repeatedly  pressing X, the majority of the situations carry on as the below:
Like photo - match with male - male messages something lame like Hi, Hey, What's up or How are you?-  never respond. 

I can only be blamed partially as we have already discussed that receiving a message of HI is not attractive in the least.

Let's look at case number two. Remember the guy from a few weeks ago who practically had me out of my clothes begging for a second date? Well, he has asked; numerous time. I can't seem to want to give up my pyjamas and Grey's Anatomy to actually go through with it though. I'd rather stay home on a Saturday night watching Julia Roberts movies than go meet a decent man for a glass of wine. Can someone please explain what is wrong with me?

I feel as though I took a step in the right direction today and gave eager Tinder guy my phone number. My friend's brother played hockey with him years ago; he seems legit. The problem is he asked if he could take me out next Tuesday and I've already managed to compile faux plans. Tuesday is in six days, I can't commit to a decision just yet.

Whatever, dating sucks, I'm going to go read my book with a glass of wine in a bubble bath.
#SingleForLife.
Merde.

 
 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Counterfeit.

Adjective: made in exact imitation of something valuable or important with the intention to deceive or defraud.

It is April 2014 and girls everywhere are actively posing à la duck face; I doubt this tragedy will ever vanish. What really makes my heart cringe are those ladies who have moved on from this fad because they have invested in lip injections; leaving their mouths more or less in a constant duck face position. WHY?
Faux lips are increasingly becoming popular with ordinary women. Ordinary implies NOT a real housewife. Furthermore, the females undergoing this apparently easy procedure are gradually becoming younger. Montreal is not a huge city. I cannot be the only individual who has come across a photo of someone they once knew who now has a bigger (phony) pout. Again, WHY?
Dear women with the fake lips. Do you genuinely believe that your abnormally puffy mouth is attractive? Moreover, do you think others believe your lips are real? I am not against plastic surgery. I do, however, oppose extreme measures which leave you looking absurd. Regardless, I surely hope that your new lips give you the confidence you obviously lacked with your natural face. I will not blame you (entirely); let's allow society to take some responsibility.

I hope karma doesn't kick me for this one.
Merde.
 
video

Sunday, March 30, 2014

GIRLS.

TV series: Girls is an American television series that began airing on HBO on April 15, 2012. Created by and starring Lena Dunham, Girls is a comedy-drama that follows a close group of twenty-somethings as they chart their lives in New York City.

It's Sunday, therefore it seems appropriate to (finally) recap the finale of GIRLS; mostly because I still don't know what I am going to do to excite tonight's evening before work. Furthermore, what will I review tomorrow morning to my office mate (who does not watch the show) through my own fits of laughter? I would be eternally grateful to the person who could suggest an equally entertaining show to fill the void in my life until season four commences.
I hate to say that this season was not the greatest. I went through a roller coaster of emotions when it came to my love for the show; although my disappointment was usually redeemed the following week by an equally amusing episode. However, I can't help but feel that I was just abruptly broken up with and left with a truckload of unanswered questions and confusion.
How will Shoshanna recover from her breakdown? Furthermore, how will she mend her broken heart? I sincerely think that she should end her friendship with Marnie who completely broke the BLC (basic lady code). Marnie is the ideal illustration of a selfish bitch. She's that one girl we all know who had a great guy (Charlie), took him for granted and ended their relationship. She now suffers unhappily by her lonesome while backstabbing everyone around her. Misery loves company. She just needs to go away. Jessa needs help. How does one agree to help someone commit suicide? I hope this situation is a metaphor for her to get her shit together and quit her addiction bullshit. She has so much potential. I'd be her friend. The majority of my thoughts regarding this finale are focused on Hannah. I was incredibly disappointed when Hannah got herself fired from her job in the previous episode. Granted it wasn't her dream job, but it was a decent job and she was good at it. She basically put her life on hold for Adam out of fear that he would move on without her. My initial assumption was that she would not go forward with school in Iowa as she would evidently not want to leave her boyfriend. The ending would have us believe that she will in fact go, but we still cannot be certain. I sure as hell hope she does. It pains me when females put their goals aside because of the men in their life. Obviously I am biased considering I do not have a man in my life and therefore my time is devoted to excelling at my career. My situation could very well have been different if the circumstances were. Despite my difficulties with being single, I can't help but feel that my (lack of) man issues are less stressful than finding a happy (secure) life in the work industry. Men come and go but work is forever?
Is it apparent that I'm trying to convince myself?
Today my grandmother told me to think of her; that I need to focus on having a baby. I now have my mother and grandmother working in unison to make me feel guilty for my single status.
In reality, I would probably give up my job for the perfect husband and baby (girl; just one).

I would be great wife material, if only I could find a ripe avocado.
Merde.

 

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Regulations.

Noun: A rule or directive made and maintained by an authority.

Do dating rules still exist? If so, can someone please send me a tutorial as I am completely clueless.

In hindsight I should really be blogging about GIRLS because every season finale deserves a conclusion post. That being said, I am presently trying to fight a cold from fully emerging and therefore do not have the mindset needed to devote towards GIRLS. But know that it is coming.

Speaking from experience (my own and the females that surround my life), women seem to put too much pressure on males when it comes to dating. In all fairness, it is not entirely our fault. It is as though we were born with the deficiency that comes in the form of over analysing everything. I believe that the majority of males realize this female imperfection and should therefore play as little games as needed. When it comes to serious issues that is, all additional flirtatious games are welcome.

So does that wait three days before calling rule still exist? When Monday's lunch hour came around and I had still not heard from my Friday night prospect I took matters into my own hands. His response was positive and we've texted casually since; but there has yet to be an official indication that he wants a second date. This really annoys me. Either ask me out again or stop messaging me. I have no time for mixed signals. On the other hand, I completely understand that this man leads a busy life and I'm not asking to be in contact all day long or even every day. I'm busy too and as previously mentioned I'm currently fighting off viruses, which takes a lot of time and energy. ALL I WANT IS A SECOND DATE. I am even willing to settle for a reference towards a second date. Side note: I always want what I can't have.

In reality, I am not even sure I would want to pursue a serious relationship with this man. In that case, I guess I should stop playing the game? There's just something about him that intrigues me, making me want to see him with this clothes off...
Is it time to assume he doesn't feel the same or am I being too impatient?

Have I mentioned that I hate dating?
Merde.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Follow up.

Noun: an action or thing that serves to increase the effectiveness of a previous one, as a second or subsequent letter, phone call, or visit.

Could I be cursed? Being someone who truly believes in superstitions, I'm beginning to consider this possibility. Granted, it has yet to be forty eight hours since my Friday night meeting (date); I still can't help but feel uneasy. This past year has proven to be uneventful for me when it comes to first meetings (dates) as I have yet to have a second. I should really probably start dating more, but I just can't bring myself to do it; I actually hate it and would probably find eating anchovies more enjoyable.

I began this blog for the simple reality that I was discovering the single life to be more and more difficult the older I became. The trials and tribulations that come with this status is at times so unbearable that I consider remaining single for the rest of my life.

At this point, all I want is a second date. Is that really so much to ask for?!
Merde.


 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

GIRLS.


TV series: Girls is an American television series that began airing on HBO on April 15, 2012. Created by and starring Lena Dunham, Girls is a comedy-drama that follows a close group of twenty-somethings as they chart their lives in New York City.

I have not reviewed GIRLS in weeks as I was determined to focus my writing on other topics. I'm afraid I haven't exactly found success; instead I managed to put a halt on my blogging altogether. Life has been in overdrive lately, mostly being work related. Weekdays that are overly busy they leave your brain feeling like mashed potatoes. The effect of this cause is afterhours devoted to nothing but pure relaxation. Lots of bubble baths accompanied by cups of tea (that may be spiked with alcohol) and bed time's being at ten PM. I also blame this never ending winter weather. Summer where art thou?

In this week's episode of GIRLS, Jessa taught me that sometimes you just need to dance around uncontrollably to feel better.

Should I be worried that I'm currently relating to a recovering drug addict?
Merde.